Families in Crisis: Mental Illness

Mental illness often has a “ripple effect” on families, creating tension, uncertainty, stress and sometimes significant changes in family life. Home becomes unsettled, interactions between family members become unpredictable. Daily routines and treasured family traditions are disrupted or even destroyed.

It can be heart-wrenching to see a loved one struggling with symptoms of mental illness. And often it is hard to know how to best help and support them.

When it comes to mental illness, the emotional and behavioural consequences for family members go largely ignored. But there are ways to love and support your loved one while not losing yourself.

How to Help a Loved One Struggling with Mental Illness

Learn as much as you can about mental illness, treatment and what services are available in your area.
Find out if there are education and training courses that you can attend. NAMI (National Alliance for Mental Illness) is a great resource.
Understand that symptoms may come and go, and vary in severity. Different levels of support may be required for yourself and your loved one at different times.
Develop a sense of balance between your own needs and the needs of the person you care for. Don’t forget to practice self-care
Prepare a Crisis Plan – it’s better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it.

DO

Listen with an open mind. Listen without judgment. Generally, individuals who have a mental health issue are searching for someone who is trying to understand how they feel…be that person for them.
Ask open-ended questions. Respectfully ask about their symptoms and how they are feeling. Reflect back what you hear. Ask clarifying questions. They will know you care simply because you took the time to listen.
Let them share as little or as much as they want to. Let them lead the discussion at their own pace. Don’t put pressure on them to tell you anything they aren’t ready to talk about.
Set aside time to talk with no distractions. Timing is everything. Find a safe and private place to have these discussions.
Ask permission before giving feedback or when bringing up sensitive topics.
Encourage them to seek help. Remind them that mental health problems are treatable and they don’t have to feel this way forever.
Help out with daily tasks. Living with a mental illness can make even the simplest of tasks difficult to accomplish. Any small act of kindness can really help and will be appreciated.
Be patient. You may feel they have pushed you away, and maybe they have. Those suffering from a mental illness tend to distance themselves from their loved ones, not because they dislike your company, but because they sometimes feel like a burden or are ashamed.
Understand that having “mixed feelings” is normal. One day your loved one may want to make changes, the next day might be resistant to changes. Give credit for positive changes they do make.

DON'T

Make comments such as “You’re fine” or “Cheer up” or “Snap out of it!” These comments can make someone feel criticised and humiliated for feeling they way they do. Other things not to say: “It’s all in your head.”; “Come on, things could be worse.”; “But you have a great life, you always seem so happy.”; “Everyone gets a little down, moody, sad at times.”; “This too shall pass…”, “Everything happens for a reason.”…… these comments are not helpful.
Say you know how they feel if you don’t. Refrain from drawing comparisons.
Question them about their medical decisions. Accepting help and taking medication is a big step and can be scary. Be patient, supportive , and most importantly non-judgemental as your loved one finds the treatment providers and medications that suits their specific needs.
Pressure them to “stay busy”. Do not hesitate to include your loved one to join in social events and activities, but also don’t expect that they will accept the invitation. They might not be ready yet.
Take it personally. Remember what they’re going through is not about you or your fault. Give them unconditional love but don’t expect anything in return because they may not be able to give it to you right now.
Don’t give up on them! This journey of recovery will be long- you’ll be frustrated at times – but stick around.

New Workshop Starting Soon!

HEAL YOUR FAMILY FROM THE IMPACT OF MENTAL ILLNESS

An 8-week online workshop designed to help you understand all aspects of mental illness including;
Signs and Symptoms of most common diagnosis
Treatment Options and Medication;
The Impact of Mental Illness on Family Relationships;
How to Communicate Effectively without Conflict;
The Importance of Developing a Crisis Plan;
Prevention, Intervention and the Aftermath of Suicide
Options for Manoeuvring Through the Mental Health System

SPACE IS LIMITED
Call to inquire about the next scheduled workshop

818.749.5724